‘The Ten HellHounds of Helston’
.
The Ten HellHounds of Helston,
a motley bunch they were,
they picked their noses…
from a catalogue;
they curling-tonged their fur;
four of them were EVIL
the other six…
they were EVIL, too;
the Ten HellHounds of Helston,
never said, “Hello! How do you do?”
.
The Ten HellHounds of Helston,
started off as one;
but one HellHound gets lonely,
two is double the fun.
So, an advert was there published
in Helston-by-the-Sea;
and applicants came running,
EVIL for to be.
.
The first HellHound was ‘Sticky’,
until it changed its name;
and ‘Fang’ became the leader,
and ‘Nasty’ turned the game.
.
‘Claw’ and ‘Howl’, lieutenants
to the leader of the pack;
but when the pack only numbers three,
is there something of a lack?
.
A membership drive was introduced;
with promises of a decent pension;
three lost souls were seduced,
three too lost to mention;
and two joined for the perks,
free enmity, sinful deeds,
luncheon vouchers, the works!
.
The last pair that joined
were ‘Hagtooth’ and ‘Squiffy Knee’;
from the North of the County,
in Bude they had purloined;
with a reputation for being real hard,
they broke into the local bank
using a loyalty card as bounty.
.
The Ten HellHounds of Helston
were EVIL through and through;
there wasn’t a single EVIL deed
that they weren’t fain to do.
They smashed up an abandoned bus stop,
wrote ‘RIBBISH’ on a bin;
kicked empty cans at midnight,
with a fearsome fangy grin.
The Ten HellHounds of Helston
even said that black was probably white.
.
A legend in their Lungetimes,
they slobbered and they drooled;
The Ten HellHounds of Helston
from Wendron to Porthleven
all the land they ruled.
.
.
.
NB The Cornish Connection with this one…?
Well, I’ll let you work that one out.
.
PS the picture was borrowed from the inter web and edited to suit. Thank you, web.
G:)
Graeme Sandford 